


2018: Day 13

by grey2510



Series: Misc SPN Works (<15k words) [20]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (about social media), (but that would have been pretty cool), (not a literal dinosaur), (sorry to disappoint any dino!Dean fans), Gen, New Year's Resolutions, Slice of Life, dean is a dinosaur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/pseuds/grey2510
Summary: Dean decides to come up with a New Years Resolution. Sam has a suggestion, but Dean's got it covered.





	2018: Day 13

  
  


_ "And despite signs warning visitors not to feed hallucinogens to alligators—" _

Dean flicks off the TV. "Florida, man. Like we don't see enough weird shit in our lives, now we're in a state with fucking gators tripping balls."

Sam  _ hrmphs  _ from the computer at the tiny motel room table. The fan above them whirs despondently because of course in America's armpit, even though it's January 13th (lucky them), it's hot and humid and gross. 

With nothing else to do, Dean pulls out his phone and starts scrolling aimlessly through Twitter. Yes, he has Twitter because it's a surprisingly good way to keep up with the world outside of monsters—not that he ever twitters anything himself. No one even knows he has an account. 

Chuckling, Dean looks up from his phone. "Sam, check this out: whole buncha dumb New Year's Resolutions. I like this guy's style: exercise, parentheses, my right to eat, close parentheses, more, parentheses, tacos, close parentheses."

Sam just gives him a raised eyebrow as he finally tears his attention away from whatever nerdy thing he's doing. "Uh, how about you stay away from tacos?"

"Whaddya got against tacos?"

Sam looks kind of squirrely, which according to Crowley, is Dean's job, dammit. "They're a killer?"

"What?"

"...heart disease?"

"Fucking salad eater." Dean shakes his head. For some reason, for the last decade, Sam has been staunchly anti-taco (but burritos are fine in Sam's book—not in Dean's, mind you, because Sam Winchester and a bean burrito is about on par with the capital-A Apocalypse). In fact, now that Dean thinks of it, the anti-taco crap all started in fucking Florida, after that whole Mystery Spot shitshow. Probably just a coincidence.

Dean keeps scrolling. "This dude made one for his cat: keep staring at nothing."

"Yours could be 'keep staring at Cas'," Sam mutters.

"Something you wanna share with the class, Sammy?" Dean snaps.

"I said what I said and you heard me."

Dean glares at his annoying-ass little brother. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

"You know what? Fine. I will come up with a resolution."

"Eat more bacon, drink more whiskey?"

Dean ignores him. Plus, that one has already been used by someone. "Nah, here we go," he says, typing exaggeratedly. "Be the same asshole in 2018 that I was in 2017."

"Well, at least you're honest."

"Ooh, yeah, 'honest'. Good call, Sammy," Dean nods, and he adds that to his...twit? He tags it and presses the little blue button to send or post or whatever the fuck you call it. Look at him: new year, first Twitter thing. Gonna be a banner year.

Sam suddenly sits up a little straighter. "Wait. Do you actually have Twitter?"

"Yup."

"When? How? Who do you—" Sam looks like he's about explode with questions.

"Good luck finding me. 'Hashtag haha sammy'."

"You know about hashtags? Who are you?!"

"Careful. I might get 'hashtag sammy needs a haircut' trending."

"You wouldn't."

"Hey, honest asshole, here. Just living up to my resolution."

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's that time of the month! Coldest Hits...not the other one.
> 
> [Here was January's prompt and rules](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/169626960514/spncoldesthits-terrible-new-years-resolutions). I used or referenced #10, 17, 30, and 33 from the resolutions list.
> 
> So if you could hold off on the kudos and comments or just share them on some of my other fics, I'd appreciate it!
> 
> My other works (sorted by series for easier navigation):  
> [Grey's works](http://archiveofourown.org/users/grey2510/series)  
> Come visit me on Tumblr! @[grey2510](https://grey2510.tumblr.com/)


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